So I am being spotted where ever I go and people wanting my autograph as I go about my day and this means a lot and doesn’t make me want to fly away, but there is always that one person who dislikes what I do and get asked, “Is stand up comedy really a job?”
I reply “Well I just signed your grown up son on his bottom so let me ask you, what why it wouldnt be?”
She says “Well it is not made a for a woman doing stand up”
“Oh really” I say “Then let me ask you, why did you say I am that comedian and why did you not ignore me”
“Well its my son he’s potty about you and I feel its not womanly”
“Oh don’t worry is it because my boobs are in the way you mean as I look at you and you’ve got more cleavage out than me and perhaps I should chop mine off and put them in a case then would you be happy?”
She remarks “Well you still got a vagina so yes, I don’t feel it is a career for women”
“Well do you known anyone who can sow it up and then would I be suitable?”
“No she says because you still got a long hair and womanly teeth”
“Not heard that one before never mind perhaps if I put on a suit and have medallion on my chest, now would I be more your type?”
“No, because your stiill female”
“Oh okay then you give me a number for a surgeon and then would you be happy?”
“No because never am”
I nod and say “See good thing I saved my money and perhaps if I could borrow a mans penis I’d be in your club as that last time I saw you, you were a man and now a women so I see a mans bits are not always needed in comedy and you are the one who bought a ticket as a bloke so you being sexist would you like to give it a try now a woman”
“No because I need to keep my faith and being a man once taught me a lot”
“Whats that now you are women that you can be a right snotty nose?”
“No because my son yawns when I tell a joke”
“Well good thing I am then, and Boris stop hiding as a woman as you not a man either”.
The West London Girl 